A few days ago I witnessed a neighbor of mine who often claims to be a good mother to her children hitting her five year old son because his school friend’s mother complained that he hit his friend and used bad words at him. I also have heard several times when she have quarrels with her husband both call each other names and even do things like hitting or throwing things on the floor. My point is when such an example is set to a child it is quite natural that he too may ape his parents. After all Parents are the first teachers of a child and the first influence in the life of the child who moulds a child’s character. No one can replace the parent’s role in the life of her children. The outlook that the child will form towards life depends a lot on the parents. His attitude, views, goals, perspective on life etc depend to a larger extent on what he learned from parents. What a child learns in the initial years always have a lasting impression on his mind so good parenting is very essential.
Mothers and the role they play in the life of the child are of utmost importance. Mothers impact significantly not only on the health of the child's developing self-esteem, social relationships, academic achievement and career goals. Mom is the one who loves you no matter what you are...
There is a really nice poem by Katherine Nelson Davis, "What Is A Mother", that gives a beautiful definition of "mother".
What Is a Mother?
A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience,
And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family
Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill -
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!
- Katherine Nelson Davis
There is no "rule book" on mothering and no one place where mothers can go to learn all of the ways to handle their children without ever having a problem!However I would like to encourage mothers in the following ways: how to be a good mother....
Be patient: Being a mother is a little challenging sometimes. But keep your cool and try to stay patient. Try this approach to other problems. Stay calm, explain the practical reasons not to do something, and then why YOU don't want them to do something.
Take an interest in your child's interests. If your son likes music buy him a guitar and watch him play. Ask questions, like what is your favorite type of music, what is your favorite song, etc. If your daughter is interested in fashion, take her out for a shopping spree. Ask her what her favorite thing about fashion is. Don't be afraid to ask just don't be pushy. Also when you call your child and they say," What!" in a loud, angry like voice just say never mind and talk to them when they don't seem so mad.
Don't be tight about money. Okay, so blowing money day after day isn't the best thing to do, but don't automatically say no to everything your kid asks for.(If you always say no and follow this with a lecture about saving money,) Buy something small every now and then..buy something big that you are sure your kid wants. For example, an iPod in their favorite color
Make sure you are an approachable person to talk to. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mom for friendship advice, information on puberty, homework help, or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retire into a shell, so make sure you talk to them about how they feel regularly.
Be supportive, and never laugh at your kids hobbies, interests. So, your daughter doesn't want to study medicine or Engineering,Don't get angry, this is your child's life and they can make some of their own decisions. Understand that it's okay if your child thinks differently from you. Don't get mad because they have a different opinion to you, You have a big impact on their lives already-you choose what school they go to, when they eat dinner, the amount of allowance they get a week. Don't over do it.
Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone if you just admit to your mistakes and apologize. It saves everyone the trouble of being mad that you're being stubborn and teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology.
Respect your child love for the other parents. You can not be jealous of your childs loving your Husband. Grand paa or grand maa
Lastly, love your children more than anything. Without loving them, it means nothing whatever you do in your life. And understand whenever you love your child or not, somehow deep in your child's heart, they will love you forever whenever they are loved, or not.